but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
