so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Randomize
