How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
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I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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