This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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