They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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