This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
