well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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