Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
