Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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