if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
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I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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