So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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