These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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