it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
