By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize