you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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