I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
