maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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