rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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