ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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