I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
