Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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