how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
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he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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