she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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