We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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