Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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