I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize