Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
