Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
