i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
