I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
