Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this will be a night to untag.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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