So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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