Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
