it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
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I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom