That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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