i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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