Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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