The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
