We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
