Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize