I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
