We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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