Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just found puke in my bra..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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