She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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