To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize