This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize