It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
