she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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