Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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