her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
