So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
