Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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