I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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