Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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