Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
