just come out here and I will go home with you...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
