that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
