Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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