we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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